Taxonomy of Trids 2

A reader has requested further attention to the Trids of Britain and, not having gotten into trouble for Part the First, I shall now endeavour to write a Part the Second.

For our purposes a "Trid" is someone who delights in the Extraordinary Form of the Mass without going so far as to deny the validity of the Ordinary Form. I repeat that although there are as many types of Trids as there are such admirers of the EF aka the Tridentine Mass aka the Old Rite, there are some clearly discernable, if overlapping groupings. There are, however, such dramatic national differences, that I am confining my remarks to Britain.

Hitherto I have mentioned, but not described, the Flitters, the Journalists, the Musicians, the Aristos, the SP Bandwaggoners, the Poles, the European Royalty and the Families of Ten. Let us begin.

The Flitters: The Flitters can be further divided into two groupings: the Seekers and the Travellers.

The Seekers have an interest in religion so great that they shall never be happy until they have tried them all. The Seekers flit from communion to communion with a sincerity that takes in even themselves. The best of them arrive, drink deep, and are confirmed in their faith before immediately apostasizing and joining First Gospel Temple of the Cosmological Christ. The worst arrive, insinuate themselves into what they see as the choicest social circles, get in a miff, and flit somewhere else, spreading slanderous tales of heresy and hem-hem.

The Travellers are Trids on business or holiday, scampering down to London, up to Edinburgh, across the pond or under the Channel for this event or that meeting. They are often gorgeously arrayed in tweeds and ties of unusual colour, and appear like bright comets in local Trid pews. No matter how much they drink on Saturday night, they are all present and correct on Sunday morning, unlike certain Students I could name.

The Journalists: The Journalists, by definition raffish, take on even more raffishness by going to Trid Mass instead of their local parish N.O. The Journalists begin by writing about the Trid Mass and then carrying on writing about the Trid Mass. This is at first welcomed by other Trids, who are pleased to read about Trid Mass in the papers and online, though some become nervous when the Journalists do not confine themselves to descriptions of beauty and affirmations of orthodoxy but begin to describe the Trids themselves.

Trid Journalists find themselves torn between turning out juicy copy and preserving the privacy of their friends. It is an intolerable burden, weep weep. One hopes for forgiveness and, if female, brings stupendously delectable puddings to dinner parties.

Trid Journalists wear whatever they like, which often means bright tweeds and ties or frivolous little hats. They are often ill-paid, so pity them, feed them, and tell us...them...interesting anecdotes.

The Musicians: Trid Musicians often overlap with the Anglo-Catholic Converts, and their importance to worship is somewhere between that of their traditional rivals the servers and that of the actual priest-celebrant.

If the servers mess up, only the most eagle-eyed of pew-side Trids (including the Musicians) ever notice. If the Musicians mess up, we all know. If this happens often or severely enough, the Recusants of either the 1535 or the 1965 variety begin to sigh nostalgically about Low Masses and how underrated they are.

Happily this sad occurence appears but rarely where I go to Mass, and although only one admits to reading my blog, it behooves me to stress that for musicianship, orthodoxy, reverence, charm, beauty, fidelity, virtue, general excellence and appreciation for delectable puddings, my own Trid community's musicians cannot be beat.

Musicians tend to know more about the Mass than any Recusant alive, and are quick to stomp upon sentimental notions:

Journalist: How wonderful that the Trid Mass is being said at the High Altar of York Minster for the first time since the Reformation!

Musician: They had the Sarum Rite in York.

Musician 2: The York Rite.

Musician 1: No, it was Sarum.

Journalist: How wonderful that the Trid Mass is being said at the High Altar of York Minster for the first time ever!

Although they sometimes overlap with tweed-sporting Students, Musicians often wear striped cotton shirts, pullovers, jeans and even hoodies. Et in Arcadia Bohemia.

The Aristos: The Aristos are among the friendlier of the Recusants, circa 1535. Being Aristos, they have nothing to prove and therefore are less chippy than those few almost-Aristos who chew their own livers at having missed out on getting into Debrett's. That said, I am too terrified of the whole Aristo concept to continue writing about them. I'm new here, and people who managed to prevent 1848, 1917, 1919 or 1968 from happening in Britain must be exceedingly tough customers.

The Summorum Pontificum Bandwaggoners. The SP Bandwaggoners grew up with the New Mass and dutifully sang "Eagles' Wings" and liked it. We were brought up to believe that we weren't that different from Protestants after all, but that the SSPX was the Anti-Christ.

Our catechists did their best to prevent this, but eventually we got our hands on the Penny Catechism and learned that the average 10 year old in 1961 knew more about Catholicism than most under-60 Catholics did in 2001. Eventually embarrassed, bored or angered by N.O. liturgies, sometimes without knowing why, we discovered the EF by accident, often on Youtube, and cried.

We are also probably part of a worldwide and interfaith turn towards religious conservativism in response to overly rapid technological change, globalisation and unchecked moral degeneration, but who cares?

The Poles. The Poles are the best thing to happen to Catholic Britain since G.K. Chesterton. When British politicians start yammering about stemming the tide of "Eastern European" migration, the average British Trid clears his throat and says, "Er, actually..."

The Poles are a vast, unconscious missionary force evangelizing existing Church structures, forcing priests into the confessional and inspiring new heights of devotion. Whereas an aging Tabletista can sneer all he likes at a tweedy Young Fogey, the sight of a brawny young Polish factory hand on his knees before the Marian chapel (if he can find it) can only impress.

One could divide the Polish Trids into workers and students, but that is boring, so let us divide them into the Fervent, the Serious-minded and the Happy-go-lucky.

The Fervent would go to Mass if it were celebrated in a circus tent by a womynpriest, just so long as she were not recognizably female. The Fervent will go to Mass anytime and anywhere and so occasionally end up at Trid Mass. Trid Mass has the benefit of not being in English, a language of which Poles get tired by the end of a long week.

The Fervent pray harder than everyone else and then disappear, either back to Poland, into monasteries or straight into heaven without bothering to die--I would not be surprised.

They wear those clothes that are on the list for incoming postulants or that the poor refused to receive from them as alms.

The Serious-minded are strict moral conservatives and disapprove of Britain and just about anything British, including the university chaplaincies. They will solemnly and loudly, with more honesty than tact, explain to you exactly what is wrong with Britain and how Poland is better. They are frequently incandescently beautiful, which is how they get away with it. If you tell them this, they say "In Poland, I am considered average."

Their children will probably become our bishops. This is awesome.

The Happy-go-lucky are not necessary moral conservatives, but they go to Mass because they have always gone to Mass, and it is good to go to Mass, and Poles go to Mass. In this they are like many Irish of yesteryear. They use large amounts of hair gel and wear club clothes to Mass without thinking about it much:

Journalist: Withold, do you realise you went up for communion wearing a T-shirt that said "I sold my soul for rock-and-roll"?

Withold: Did I? Oh, well! It does not matter. Tell me about Silvia. Does she have a lover?

The European Royalty. Thin, good-looking, wear jeans to church, chain-smoke. Usually Flitters of the Traveller variety. Loathe being smarmed up to by Seekers or anyone else, stand about speaking European to priests or relations while all other Trids pretend to be thinking about something--anything--besides the European Royalty so strangely transplanted from Hello magazine into our midst.

Families of Ten. Families of Ten do not actually have ten children but sometimes give this impression. Trid families with any child-aged children at all are in some places so rare, it is easy to get confused about the number.

In general, the children are quiet and good, and the parents worry a lot about the general degradation of society. The mothers wear veils in church.

No doubt I should write more about the Families of Ten, but I haven't seen that many (though I hear the SSPX has lots), and it would seem that so far Trid Britain--like the rest of Britain--depends on, shall we say, immigration for growth.