B.A. found him, wandering about in Waverley train station. So we snatched him and bundled him to the Historical House, interrogating him about the doings of Catholic writers in London and torturing him with jokes:Morningside Lady 1: Is that a cake or a meringue?
Morningside Lady 2: No, you're right. It's a cake.
French-Canadian Student 1: Would you like two eggs for your breakfast?
French-Canadian Student 2: No, one egg is enough.
Said Cusack insists he did not see either Evelyn Waugh or Graham Greene, despite spending inordinate amounts of time in the Travellers Club, but we do not believe him. Eventually he will crack and tell us what Damian Thompson said to Graham or what Evelyn said to Damian. We are determined to know.
We will not release Andrew Cusack until you send us One Million Dollars. Any attempt by a devotee of Charles of Austria to free him will be met with boiling oil poured from the windows.
Our prisoner is whiling away his time reading old newspapers.
Update (Feb 17): Welcome to the huge, gallumphing hoard of Andrew Cusack's readers.
9 comments:
and you're slacking on the Eilidh front ...
Just bring him to Mass tomorrow; we need proof to pay the ransom!
Berenike, I know. But I will produce once I sober up.
Gosh! It seems as though all the best people visit the Historical House. You & BA must be very fine hosts or exceptionally talented kidnappers. Maybe a certain German clergyman and former professor of theology will drop by and visit when he comes to Britain later this year.
Eine Million Euro!
Will he be released back to NYC for my show?
zig Milliarden Dollar!!
Have you heard any singing in the streets outside the Historic House, recently ?
If not, better keep your ears pinned back . . . I think they have a cunning plan !
As well as kidnapping AC you appear to be torturing him! Those jokes are older than the Historic House!
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